"......I've attended more than 30 graduations as a member of a faculty, and so I've heard quite a range of speeches (and given several myself). In too many cases, I can't recall who gave the speeches, which cannot be a good thing. A forgettable speech is by definition a poor one. One can recite the bare outline, as it rarely varies: How nice to see you on this important and beautiful day. Here is a little joke my uncle told me when I graduated. The future lies ahead of you. You should take note of how accomplished I am, which may inspire you to become accomplished yourself. Go forward, not backward. Congratulations to you all. You look so happy and handsome. Do I really have to stay to lunch? Is the plane on the runway? Where is my next stop?........."

The worst and the best.....Jay Parini reflects in The Chronicle of Higher Education.